


My Godfather is not dead.

by Toshi_1234



Series: Sirius returns [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adventure, Fluffy Ending, Godfather Sirius Black, Harry to the Rescue, Sirius returns, beyond the Veil, determined harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-10-04 05:34:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10269377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toshi_1234/pseuds/Toshi_1234
Summary: Harry has missed Sirius in every walk of life but he's also had signs that have left him thoroughly confused and scared up until now but now he doesn't want to be scared and so he starts to take measures that might lead him to sirius and bring him back to life. Is he successful in his endeavors? Read and discover ;)





	1. My Godfather is not dead

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everybody, so I know this might not be as good but this is something that I've wanted to write for quite some time so please review and tell me what do you think of it. I love you all for reading my work and taking your time out.  
> P.S Sirius is my favorite character and I hated it when he got killed in the most unsatisfactory way and this is my take on how he is NOT dead

21 years later and even as a 35 year old man, Harry still had the moments when he would want his Godfather to be there for him. Though he had the ideal life with a loving wife and amazing children, with loyal friends and doting in laws, he still wanted his godfather back. Twenty one years had gone by and he still can not come to the terms that Sirius was no more, how could he?

There was no body to prove that Sirius had moved on, Bellatrix had not used a killing curse she had stupefied him, so he can’t be dead because of a simple stunning charm, people told Harry that he was dead because he just went beyond a piece of fluttering cloth, how did that deem anyone dead, how did that make anyone depart, it was beyond Harry’s comprehension because ever since Harry had gotten to know about magic, logics were always present for every phenomenon and living under the influence of Hermione had made him look for logic in everything and in every aspect of life. So, he could not be blamed for still hoping that Sirius was alive, he could not be blamed for searching for his Godfather (sometimes for his body, sometimes for his animagi form and sometimes just for him), he could not be blamed if he missed having his Godfather around because he had no reason to believe that Sirius won’t be around.

Harry missed his parents, everyday, but not as much as he missed Sirius, it was as if Sirius was playing a cruel game of hide and seek with him and he had gone into hiding 21 years ago and had left Harry counting to infinity. Harry had come to terms with his parents’ death because they were dead and there was proof of it, their graves, the destroyed house, Voldemort’s memories, his memories, their bodies. It would have been asinine to not accept the reality when it came to his parents but Sirius? How can he come to terms to something so traumatic?

To the world he showed as if he had accepted, grieved and then moved on but deep down, the thirst to see his Godfather, the desire to meet him never left him. He feared telling people about this because he knew that they would judge him for it, they’ll ask questions about his sanity and they’ll wonder why someone desires for their guardian more than for their parents. How was he supposed to explain that his parents might have been the ones to bring him in this world but it was Sirius who had shown him what a father’s love is like in the two years he got to spend with him, it was Sirius who had given him the guidance of a guardian and the shoulder of a friend, it was Sirius who had given him the solace of a warm hug and the hope for a future. Even though it was just two years that he got to spend with his Godfather but they were still the best. These all factors contributed  to fuel Harry’s desire to get his godfather back rather than waste his time searching for people who were dead.

As Sirius’ cruel game of hide and seek continued Harry continued to miss him in every walk of life. He missed him when he won against Voldemort because he knew that Sirius would have taken a long walk with him afterwards and would have told him how he was the pride of his family and Sirius’. He missed Sirius when he got his job as an auror because he knew that Sirius would have been brimming with pride and would not have stopped haranguing people about his godson and his successes. He missed Sirius when he got married because he knew that Sirius would have teased him endlessly about getting to married to a redhead and would have made all the terrible dad jokes in his wedding toast but at the end of saying the vows he would have been the first to reach them and to give him his characteristic one-armed hug and he knew how Sirius would have whispered in his hair about his parents being proud of him.

He missed Sirius when James was born because he knew that Sirius would have teared up upon seeing him but would have actually let one slip too upon hearing his full name, James Sirius Potter. He knew Sirius would have bought him his first broom and he would have introduced him to his flying motorbike far earlier for Harry and Ginny’s liking.

He missed Sirius when Albus was born because he knew that Sirius would have fought tooth and nail upon hearing his name but would have still given into Harry’s wishes, he knew that Sirius would be the one to defend Al against his brother and he knew that Sirius would have taken it upon himself to team up with Albus in his prank wars against James.

Harry missed Sirius when Lily was born because he knew that Sirius would have treated her as nothing less than a princess, he knew that Sirius would have been the one to buy Lily the cat that she wanted even though Ginny disapproved of it, he knew that Sirius would have taken it to himself to paint her nursery and to decorate it and he would have gotten out of his way to do it. He can literally imagine Sirius playing dress up with Lily and getting his nails painted by her.

Harry missed Sirius and it hurt so much that he could pin point the ache in the chest every time he thought about him. He wanted his Godfather back, he wanted him to come out, he wanted this cruel game to end, then why is it that Sirius won’t pity him, why was it that Sirius won’t come out from behind the veil. Was Sirius having a laugh at his expense? Sirius was never this cruel, he would never stoop so low while pulling a prank and  definitely not when it involved Harry then why was Sirius keeping this up?

 Harry might have believed what everyone wanted him to believe if he didn’t have reason to keep believing in Sirius’ return. There were moments when he thought he saw Sirius, there were moments when he was sure that he saw Sirius. Then there were moments when he sensed Sirius’ presence, there were moments when he was sure and could have sworn to Sirius’s presence but every time he tried to get a closer look or tried to get a second look, every time he tried to find the confirmation to Sirius’ presence he would come up with nothing. There were moments when he thought he saw Sirius pass from in front of his open office door as he was immersed in his work but upon going out to look further for a confirmation he always came up with nothing. There were times when he would be lounging with his family when he’d feel like Sirius walked by his living room window, going out of the house for a confirmation always left him disappointed. Once, upon waking up from a bad dream he could have sworn that he saw padfoot slink out of his bedroom, rushing out after him left him disappointed to the core.

Harry didn’t want to hope, he wanted to move on, he wanted to forget, he wanted to live his life without a shadow of a worry but he couldn’t, not when he knew that Sirius was waiting for him to come and rescue him from the fine gray area between life and death. He knew that Sirius was waiting for his Godson to come and to snatch him away back to the land of living but as much as Harry wanted to help Sirius he couldn’t. How could he? How was supposed to bring someone back whom everyone believed to be dead, who would believe him if he told them about these apparitions? They would just label him as an insane, unhinged person who was now having hallucinations and would probably get carted off to St. Mungo’s. All his loyal friends, his amazing children and loving wife will do will be to not believe him. He couldn’t trust them because he knew his word would be accounted for nothing, Hermione will start suggesting the contacts of all the great psychiatrists and therapists, Ron would be just his doubtful self and Ginny will probably get her entire family involved.

Well, one thing was for sure, Sirius was not dead if he was not alive either, he was waiting in the no man’s land for his Godson and that is the reason why he had been trying to drop hints to him, trying to get his attention in the only way he could, that is the reason why he was trying to  communicate with Harry in whatever way he could but Harry was so obtuse, he had doubted himself, he had been scared, he had tried to ignore, to forget, to move on but not once did he think that all those times that he missed his Godfather he could have had him back, he never figured how his Godfather missed him too, he never pondered over how Sirius wanted to be a part of Harry’s life too, he never deduced that Sirius was trying to get him to come and look for him, Harry just continued to be feared of his fears and continued to be ignorant, but not today.

No. Today he will not ignore the signs, he will not leave Sirius back where he is all alone like he had left him for the past twenty one years, today he’ll go back for his Godfather, today he will bring him back because today he realized that he can not do this anymore, today he realized that he can not continue to be ignorant, today he realized how empty and sad he felt when he was waving his sons away to school, today he realized that he need Sirius around him, in his life, a part of his life, today he realized that Sirius has missed too much and now it is time for Harry to get over his fears, time for him to stop being obtuse and blind, time for him to accept the reality, time for him to go out for his Godfather and bring him home. If the world is not going to believe it then so be it, he will do it alone, like all the things he has done alone, but he will get his padfoot back.


	2. I Found My Godfather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry goes out to find Sirius back and succeeds in locating him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the second chapter and i intend to write a few more, don't yet know how many and i'm sorry that i can't give a date for when they would go up because my laptop's having severe issues so it will have to go for a checkup and also the semesters are on me like LITERALLY on me so i'm really really sorry guys if i don't update for some time but i've made sure that this chapter is not a cliffhanger and i hope all of you like it. I love you all fore reading despite my terrible writing skills  
> This chapter covers Harry's expedition to get Sirius back. Read, review, like and share, please.

Harry was now fueled with a desire, he was lit with the fire of passion and he had no plans other than getting his godfather back. However, it wasn’t as easy as it would seem. For starters he had no idea if his visions were just hallucinations or actual hints towards a waiting man, but in this case he’ll allow himself the benefit of doubt. He knew that he couldn’t confide in anyone because it will be a very fat chance for anyone to believe him, it was his task and his mission and this time he did not want to get anyone involved in case he turned out to be wrong. The biggest problem was that even if he was right which he hoped from the depths of his heart and soul that he was, he had no clue on how to get around to getting Sirius back, he knew of only one way and that was completely out of the question. He knew that the only way that he could reverse what had been done was by using a time turner but unfortunately all the time turners had been destroyed by them the same day that Sirius went beyond the veil.  
Harry was confused but determined, he was scared but adamant and this time he knew deep down that there was a way to get his godfather back and he was resolute to get to it. He would stop at nothing and there was nothing and no one who could stop him.  
And so Harry started his research, whatever he might have gone through being Harry Potter had it’s advantages and having free access to the biggest wizarding library in the entire world was one of them. Nobody questioned him when he started appearing at five in the morning to the library and stayed there for hours, nobody pestered him and even Ginny and his friends had left him alone because they could sense that he needed his space and was upto something but mostly all of them were just so invested in their own lives that they really didn’t want to get worried over anything extra so they left him to his devices. The Grand Library became his sanctuary and the books there became his best friends. He read book upon book and discovered secrets upon secrets, he deduced that not every book held all the answers and the information was very scattered but it was there nonetheless. He could not omit a single book or bypass a single page because he never knew what would hold the answer, a month in and he had notes made on several pieces of parchments and he had nearly fifty books read and yet he continued.  
His time in The Grand Library slowly inched him towards his answers, one month and fifteen days in and he discovered that he wasn’t unhinged or unbalanced but it was true for people stuck between life and death to appear in various ways to the living in order to get their attention and their help according to the book “The Living Dead”. It went on to explain how these souls couldn’t make a full appearance and how they were limited in their means to contact and how most failed to get the attention of the living and ultimately decided to move on. Another book “Alive or Not” explained how some souls ever since the beginning were able to make contact and also defined the various means that caused people to be caught in the loop between life and death, Sirius’ way was by far unique but definitely not unheard of, some people got caught there in the most bizarre ways imaginable. People got caught there when they tried to apparate with no destination in mind, some people got entangled when they looked into a pensieve with no memories, some people got wedged in the no man’s land like Sirius did when they went beyond something that apparently had no other end.  
The fact that Harry now had firm reason to believe that Sirius was waiting fueled him in his search for a way to get his godfather back without a time turner. Up until now all the books that he had read all suggested a time turner but it was impossible for him to make use of it. Even if he got a time turner from somewhere, the idea of going back in time twenty one years was definitely not a wise one, what if going back in time gave him a chance to save Sirius but deprived him of all future that he has right now, it was too big a risk to take and Harry had no intention of meddling with time, all he wanted was to get his godfather back in this life. His hours in the library started blending into nights which started fading into complete days and soon enough it was three days since he had been home. As he decided to finally get a break and a nap, a book caught his eye. Placed on the highest shelf, tucked towards a corner and obscured by the human eye unless particularly looked for. The gold gilded cover was definitely eye catching but the lettering was more enthralling. “Bringing the Already Living Back to Life”. How could he have missed something so obvious during all his time spent in the library, but now that he thinks back to it he never actually saw the book there. The book was never in that shelf and he distinctly remembered skimming the top shelf three days ago for various books but had never came across it. Over whelmed with curiosity and bristling with anticipation Harry reached for it and got it down. It was a small book with barely fifty pages, his fingers trembling with hope and expectation and palms sweaty with anxiety he slipped open the book as he held his breath and sank back down in his chair to give it a thorough, his break all forgotten. As he read on a smile grew on his face that at the end of an hour and fifteen minutes of his contemplative book reading caused a pleasant ache in his cheeks, it had been so long since he had smiled, it had been so long since he had felt this light, it had been quite some time since he had the feeling of an achievement and he was glad that he got to feel that way again. Looking up from the book upon turning the last page, he was sure that he saw Sirius down the aisle of his table give him a wink and then turn around the corner but this time he did not go after him because this time he had his answer, this time he knew that he need not chase shadows when he was so close to get the real thing. He knew that he was going to finally get his godfather back from his second imprisonment and he was ecstatic. He had done it. A month and a half of his hard work and believing in himself had left him a finger breadth away from his destination and he was finally going to get it.  
Harry tucked the book in his jacket’s inside pocket and made his way out of the library. The librarian ignored him as always. Elated by his discovery, he noticed a skip in his gait but didn’t want to worry over how ridiculous it might seem to the people in the streets, a grown man skipping his way over. He was happy and was so close to eternal happiness, he never knew that a simple charm existed, he never knew that all he had to do was say an incantation, move his wand a certain way, go beyond the veil and look for Sirius, grab him and get him back before he decided to continue his journey towards the other side. Something told him that Sirius would never do that, he had waited this long for Harry to catch up and he’ll wait a bit more too all the while watching over Harry and performing his duties as a godfather without a break.  
Harry was sure it wasn’t going to be as easy as he was planning it out to be, he knew that it won’t be like a stroll in the park and he knew that there were going to be massive hurdles to overcome but he was not backing down, he was in and there was no way that he going to back away now. He had let his fears control him for so long but now it was time for him to control his fears and take the leash of his life.  
Harry made his way to the ministry of magic, he hadn’t even bothered to make a stop to get cleaned up because his haste would not have allowed him the liberty of a shower when he wanted Sirius back so desperately that every second made him regret his tardiness.  
Being an auror and being Harry Potter got him into every department of Ministry of Magic with such ease that sometimes it even left him dumb founded. Full access to all departments included full and free access to the Department of Mysteries and after twenty one years he was going to go back again, he was going to make the excursion again. The first journey here had left him deprived of all things he had ever wanted in life but this second journey will get him all that was taken from him during the first one.  
Making his way through the long windowless corridors was giving him an extreme sense of deja-vu but today he seemed to move on impulse, it seemed as if he was on auto pilot and after all these years his limbs still remembered where he had to go, it seemed as if his body was navigating itself while his mind kept itself occupied with all that was about to unfold. No sooner he found himself in the chamber that held the veil, the chamber where his life got turned upside down and inside out. This was the room where he got to know the reason for his existence and his purpose of life and this was where he lost his childhood forever, this was where the expectations of the entire wizarding world was thrust upon his shoulders and now this is where he was going to get back what was taken away from him.  
Harry slowly inched his way towards the veil and climbed the dais to get into even closer proximity to the vile piece of cloth fluttering peacefully and giving away the false impression of tranquility, he could make out the whispers coming from beyond the veil and now he knew to whom those whispers belonged, the mere idea left him melancholic and depressed. He felt sorry for all the other poor souls trapped there waiting for someone to come for them and take them away but he felt happy that at least he was here for his loved one and he was going to get him back.  
He circled the veil once and then came back to its front and started laying down the things for his charm to be done. He drew the book out from his jacket and opened it to the page that explained the method and the incantation and placed it down on the floor above his discarded robes.  
Taking his wand out he practiced the complicated twirl described by the book a few times before he started chanting the incantation “sed dixi adferte mihi hic habito” and moving towards the veil with a thumping heart and a shaky figure. All the while he made sure that his hand holding the wand stayed steady because a simply jerk and he could mess up the entire thing and might have to face consequences that he hadn’t even imagined. As he stepped through the veil it felt as if someone had doused him with ice cold water, the sensation was cold enough to send an involuntary shiver through him but he caught himself just at the moment, a shiver through his body was this veil’s way of getting him to lose the wand movement and to fail at his task. As he stepped onto the other side, he saw nothing but darkness ensconce around him, it was placating in a very eerie way and it made him question all his plans and ideas but this was not the time to get doubtful, one more step into the pitch blackness and then a sudden flash of blinding light left him clenching his eyes shut in fear of getting blind. As he adjusted his eyes to the sudden light, he saw things that left him dumb founded, as he looked around him taking in his surroundings he saw people upon people surrounding him, all looking at him with varied looks, some were appraising, some envious and then some were rebellious. He tried to ignore them and tried to make his way through the throng of people to try to find Sirius in this congregation but found himself completely immobilized due to the pressing of the people upon him, everyone started reaching out for him simultaneously and that is when he figure that these people were there waiting for someone to come for them and not all of them are going to be glad that he came back for his godfather. People with the appraising looks were reaching out for him to help him get to Sirius but the others were all trying to get to him, hinder with his incantation, make him break his streak of recitation or to falter his wand movements. At this moment he realized why jealousy was a sin.  
He looked desperately around him and tried his best to come up with a plan and while he looked around his eyes met that of an old lady, almost bent double due to her bad spine but leading a gaggle of people towards him with a kind smile on her face. He saw as she approached and directed the people to form a circle around him shielding against the frenzied mob. The people in front of him started to move and he decided to follow them, he had no other choice, what with maintaining his wand movements and reciting the incantation he didn’t think that his brain could grapple with navigation too.  
Fifteen minutes of following his protectors and he had left the crowd behind and was now being lead through a corridor of sorts so narrow that it reminded him of Grimmauld Place’s narrow corridor lined by the severed heads of house elves. However, this one seemed to be brightly lit from an unknown source of light and seemed to extend on farther than his eyes could see. A few more paces into the corridor and the people leading him abruptly turned left and disappeared from view, Harry followed them into the alcove that they had turned into and saw it deserted except for one man standing in the center with a wide smile and his arms spread in welcome. Harry had never been more happy to see anyone before. There he was, there was his godfather, he’d finally gotten to Sirius, he was going to get his Padfoot back. Sirius looked extremely young and happy, he seemed to have that special glint in his eyes that had always defied the haunted looks manifested by Azkaban.  
Harry had finally came back to home because home to him was not any place anymore but it was Sirius and his presence and he was now never going back from here, just moving forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I avoid dialogues because I am terrible with them so I hope it doesn't get boring without them. I hope I get your love because this fanfiction is one that I've always wanted to write, so please make sure to like, share and review. Love for all you lovelies who take their time out.


	3. All's well that ends well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a small chapter concluding the story, with godfather-godson bonding and the excursion back through the veil back to the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my writing sucks but please give it a chance and also i'm sorry for updating so late, what with semesters driving me crazy and everything else also piing up on me but now i return with a final chapter.

Harry kept on staring at his godfather’s profile, everything else wiped from his mind and the reality of the situation finally settling in. He did not know how to proceed further, the book had explained about the wand movements and incantations and how to get around to discovering but it had not elaborated on what to do when you found the one you were supposed to be looking for. Harry looked towards Sirius expecting him to say something to guide him but Sirius just kept on looking at him with unwavering love and pride but he wouldn’t utter even one word. Harry decided to move forth, his wand movements aborted ages ago and apparently they didn’t matter once you found the one you were searching for. One step in and he expected some sort of barrier to spring out of nowhere and prevent him from making his way towards Sirius but no such thing happened, he kept on moving forward with tentative steps until he reached Sirius, close enough to touch him and to assure himself of his solidity, close enough to confirm Sirius was not a ghost like Bloody Baron but was entire like him and so he did just that. Harry reached out a shaking hand to touch Sirius, to confirm and he was astounded and elated upon finding that Sirius was, in fact, not a ghost or a vision but a solid being. On his contact, Sirius responded, he lifted his own hand and put it on Harry’s shoulder however he still didn’t utter a word. Harry was fine with it, he didn’t need Sirius to speak to hear him, Sirius’ mildest gesture and Harry understood a plethora of unsaid words and comprehended unexpressed emotions that flowed in that tiny moment.

Sirius small gesture had somehow lit a light bulb in Harry’s head and it seemed as if instantly he knew what he had to do to get out of here, it was as if Harry had needed that tiny movement from Sirius for him to understand all needed to be done next.

Harry grabbed onto Sirius’ hand in a vice-like grip all of a sudden, so sudden that he saw Sirius wince with the unexpected movement but quickly schooled his expressions again. Harry turned and started to walk out of the tiny corridor into the main one from which he came tugging Sirius with him and felt a spark of thrill pass through him when Sirius also moved to come with him. Through the corridor they moved and back into the chamber where Harry had been accosted by the millions and millions of people who wanted to prevent him from going through to Sirius but he had made his way. But now the room was deserted with not a soul in sight and he breathed a sigh of relief and continued to make his way until he reached the veil and had stepped through, the chilly feeling making him shudder involuntarily but a blink of an eye and he found himself back in the deserted room in ministry of magic on the dais. He had not let go of Sirius’ hand all the while and he turned around after stepping through the veil to see him and found his Godfather right behind him grinning with ecstasy. Harry had so many questions on the tip of his tongue but the only word that he could utter through his choked up throat was Sirius’ name and he surged forward to envelop him in a bone-crushing hug, Sirius patted his head and uttered reassurances in his ear with his voice hoarse probably because of disuse or perhaps because of emotion but the implication of the reality hit both of them and it was staggering.

After they both had regained some of their composure they separated. Harry felt like a fifteen year old boy rather than a fully grown man but he felt happy, so happy that even words weren’t enough for depicting his state. His elation could only be seen and it made him feel giddy. Getting a hold on himself he started weaving his way back, out of the department of mysteries and ultimately out of the ministry of magic, all the while he kept talking excitedly to Sirius catching him up on all that had happened. Sirius, on the other hand listened raptly but his fears all showed on his face, what if the people didn’t accept his return, what if they blamed him and Harry of dark magic, what if he and Harry had to suffer consequences for his return. But despite these fears he didn’t let his attention waiver from his Godson and his excited babble about his life and his kids. When all of a sudden he heard what Harry had been saying properly and immediately halted in his tracks with his eyes glued on Harry’s back as he kept on walking. He was trying to make sense of what Harry had said but apparently his godson had meant what he had said and so all that Sirius could do was exclaim in horror

 “You named your son after Snivellus?” Upon hearing the near yell from his Godfather Harry jumped a foot in the air and turned back to stare at him, he had failed to notice that Sirius had stopped walking beside him. A second of staring and Harry burst out laughing, doubling over with mirth while Sirius just gawked at him. Harry hiccupped one more time and finally found the breath to utter out

“But, I thought you knew that, what with you following me and dropping hints for me to get you back.”

Sirius responded with incredulity and explained how he could not hear anything during his momentary appearances nor could he talk to anyone hence, the reason why he resorted to the other modes of communication with Harry. Shaking his head at his Godson’s ridiculous taste in baby names he moved forth and flung his arm across his shoulders dragging him into his side and asking him to tell him all about Lily. Harry complied.

They’ll deal with the Ministry of Magic and the families and friends and all the other people when the time came but right now they both were home, both were happy and both were back with one another as they made their way down the deserted streets of London, apparently it had taken Harry almost twelve hours to be successful in his conquest and it was way past midnight, so late that it was almost morning but sleep and exhaustion were far away from him, however his Godfather was definitely beside him like it was supposed to be.  


End file.
